I Hate You
by TheLittleBlueFangirl
Summary: Hiccup's catchphrase is, "I hate you." She's always said it and Ash is normally the one who she refers to. But why? And how does that catchphrase always turn up in situations with her boyfriend? These are the tales of how those three words are said so often, always meaning three others. Modern Genderbend Hiccstrid Fem!Hiccup Male!Astrid
1. Chapter 1: Those Horror Movie Aftermaths

**Chapter 1: Those Horror Movie Aftermaths**

A knock on the door sounded and he grinned to himself, getting up from his nest of movies and walking to the front door. With the hugest smile he could muster, Ash swung the door open. And there she stood. In her v neck pine green sweater, black leggings and ugg-style boots, her auburn hair teased into a wavy ponytail she was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen.

"Hey sweetheart."

She grinned and leant forward gently pressing her lips against his nose. "'Evening, Ash."

Moving aside with a smile, Hiccup walked into his house, bending over to slip her uggs off at the door. He eyed her behind as she did so, trying to be as discreet as he could.

"Ash."

"Yes?" he asked, still staring.

"Stop staring at my arse."

Caught red handed. Ash felt his cheeks burn and when his girlfriend turned, she rolled her eyes and walked off into the living room. He followed, face still rivalling a strawberry. If she wasn't so nice to look at and wasn't so damn loveable this wouldn't happen. But she was both of those, so it did.

He heard her groan and frowned looking over at her. She held up some of the movies that had made his nest, scowling at him.

"Seriously? You want to watch horror movies?"

"Yes," Ash said.

Hiccup hit him lightly with one of the cases. "You know I hate horror movies! _You_ don't even like them! You like action movies like _Fast and Furious_ and _Big Her_ -"

His hand flew to her mouth. "We are not talking about my unhealthy obsession."

She kissed the palm of his hand and moved it from her face with a huge grin. "You admitted it."

Shaking his head, he grabbed her wrists, chuckling. Hiccup grinned more toothily and Ash sighed, slumping onto her in defeat.

"AAAASSSSHHHH!" she groaned, "you're heeeaaaavvvvvyyyy!"

He chuckled, regaining his feet and wrapped his arms around her waist, picking her up so she was above eyelevel. Making sure to construct his face into a perfected puppy dog face, he looked up at her adoringly.

"Please could we watch a horror movie?"

"I hate you," she mumbled.

Ash smiled and pressed his lips against her forehead. "It'll be fine."

"YOU SUCK!" Hiccup's face was buried deeply into his shoulder, breathing heavily with her arms wrapped around his waist.

He sighed and apologised. Despite her fears, he didn't think that she'd have any trouble watching it. But no, he was wrong. Definitely wrong. This one was a tad gorier than he remembered, but this was the girl who lost her leg. It shouldn't have been that bad. And it wasn't even that scary it just had lots of jump scares and screaming. She should've been fine.

If she'd lifted her head from his shoulder, she would've seen his reassuring smile directed at her.

"We can watch something else… I'll even put on _Home_ for you."

Hiccup rolled off his back, slipping under his arm instead. "I-I'll be fine."

He smiled and pressed a little kiss into her hair, settling underneath the blanket more comfortably, enjoying the heat of her curled under his arm. That little hand of hers was holding his tightly between her own, thin dainty fingers curling around his. Ash grinned, laying his head on his free arm, the two of them now curled sweetly against the comforter cushioning the floor.

When the movie was near the end, she piped up. "You know I won't be able to walk home right?"

"Why not?"  
She looked up at him with a glare, "Because there could be a serial killer with a chainsaw lurking about."

Ash rolled his eyes, getting poked in the nose for it. "Don't roll your eyes; that's my thing."

"Okay."

He curled around her more as she flinched at some bloodshed, resting his mouth near her ear.

"I can walk you home if you-"

"NO. This is your fault that I'm scared shitless, so unless you plan on taking me home while holding a gun in your hand and wearing armour, I'm staying here," she said.

Smiling he nodded against the side of her head. "Okay, we'll have to make sleeping arrangements-"

"Easy; you and me sleeping on either the bed or couch."

He chuckled. "Sounding a bit eager there, sweetheart."

"Do I look like I want to sleep alone tonight?"

"No."

"Then you're sleeping next to me if you like it or not!"

Ash pressed his face into her hair for a moment, the smell of pine sweetly tickling his nose. "I don't think I have anything to complain about."

He felt two fingers pinch his forearm, pain shooting up his arm. "Perv."

"No, I just like… holding my girlfriend."

"Still can't say cuddling?"

Nodding, he smiled as she sighed in disappointment. "You and your masculinity issues."

"I'm sorry, but it's part of my charm."

"What charm?"

Hands drumming against her side, he said, "Don't test me."

She nodded, pressing a quick redemption kiss to his jaw and settling underneath his arm, reluctantly watching the movie. Only a few minutes later the credits rolled and he got up, his girlfriend protesting and turned the light on before turning off the TV. Hiccup sat up with his comforter pulled around her body snuggly, sitting upon the spare comforter, looking up at him. Sighing he picked her up, blankets and all, taking her towards his bedroom, light streaming out from it. She curled into his chest, one hand peeking out of her cocoon to grip his shirt.

He set her down on his bed, unravelling the comforter in order to find his girlfriend. She finally appeared, looking annoyed that her warmth had been taken from her.

"Stop pouting," he rummaged through his wardrobe and threw her a t-shirt and black plaid shorts, "go get changed so we can sleep."

Hiccup giggled and lifted up the shirt. "You even have a _Baymax_ t-shirt."

"Just go get changed."

She stood up and trotted off into the ensuite with a smile thrown over her shoulder before the door closed.

With a heavy sigh, he slipped off his shirt and swapped it with a black _Artic Monkeys_ band tee, his pants being exchanged for cotton pyjama shorts. He closed the curtains, smoothed the comforter onto the bed and knocked on the door of the bathroom.

"You done?"

 _"Yeah,"_ came the muffled reply, _"I'm just doing my hair."_

Ash opened the door, to find his girlfriend taming her hair into a sweet messy bun, wisps falling free and framing her face. His breath caught in his throat for a moment, the prospect of breathing even more dangerous to consider when she smiled at his reflection. Closing his eyes and managing to breathe again, he felt a hand cupping his cheek. Eyes now opened, he looked down slightly (she was only three inches shorter than him) to find her lips tugged up adorably.

He sighed and leant down to press his lips against hers. His lips pressed against her palm rather than her mouth and he frowned.

"Brush your teeth first, sweetie."

Ash groaned as she walked out and did as he was told, turning to look at her sitting on his bed and giving her a pitiful puppy look to make her laugh. After two minutes and closing the door as he did his business, he flushed the toilet and walked over to Hiccup, sitting beside her on the bed for a moment.

"You can't sleep with your prosthetic, sweetheart."

She looked away. "I don't want you to see my stump."

He frowned, pulling her into his lap and lifting her prosthetic leg to rest on her thigh. Hiccup protested trying to pull her leg away, but he held it firmly while he removed her leg. When it was gone, he stared at what used to be her leg. The skin smoothly had grown back over the bone in a dome shape, light pale scarring visible. Ash pressed his lips against her cheek, gently reaching around her to run his hand over the smooth looking skin. She shivered when he touched it and he relished at the smooth skin, the scar tissue mostly healed.

This was the first time that she'd willingly let him see her stump. They'd been dating for months and she'd had her stump for even longer than that, yet this was still the first time. And he loved it.

He lifted her off his lap, crouching in front of her and kissing the smooth scarred skin. It spoke an unspoken message that didn't need to be said out load. Ash accepted them and she didn't need to be so self-conscious about her battle scars. They made her Hiccup after all.

"I'm going to turn off the light in the living room; start getting comfortable."

She nodded and as he walked out he heard the rustle of blankets and sheets.

Flicking off the light switch, Ash turned to find her with cocooned in the comforter again. With a sigh and shaking his head with a smile, he walked over and nudged her slightly.

"I need some comforter too you know."

She shook her head. "It's _mine_."

Laughing, he spent a few minutes wrangling the comforter from her enough to slip beneath it. He wrapped and arm around her waist and pulled her back into his chest, using his other hand to fix the covers as she protested feebly. Hiccup turned around in his arms and buried her face into his neck with a cute sigh. That minty smelling breath tickling his neck sweetly.

"Ash?"

"Yes?" it sounded like an important question.

"Where's Stormfly?"

He chuckled. Of course she was just worried about his cat. "She probably snuck into your house to hang out with Toothless."

He felt a smile brush against his neck and her nose ran up to the edge of his jaw, nuzzling it. The feeling made him chuckle again and she stopped, looking up at him through the lamplight.

Her face glowed, slightly furrowed eyebrows and creased nose annoyingly beautiful.

"Why are you laughing?"

"It tick- oh shit."

Hiccup grinned devilishly, burying her face into his neck again and rubbing from his collarbone to his jaw ferociously, his laugh getting louder. It sounded like the Joker had vocal surgery. It almost hurt and he understood how she felt when he tickled her, but this… this was evil.

"ST-ST-ST-AHP!"

She paused and looked up at him with a huge innocent smile, gently- in the seemingly least ticklish way she could manage- running her nose along his jaw, resting it on his chin as he regained his breath. Acutely aware of the fact that she set up the perfect position for him to bend his head and kiss her, Ash obliged, only letting his lips brush against hers briefly before forcing himself to pull away. Groaning sounded from Hiccup and he felt her hands roughly pull his face back down to hers. He smiled against her lips as he softly kissed her, her hands moving from his cheeks to tangle into his hair.

The sound of the cat flap flicking open and shut made Hiccup freeze, slowly moving her lips away from his and moving her hands to fist his shirt. Ash sighed and pressed a kiss to her hair, standing up with the covers slipping off his body and walking to the door. He felt her hand entwine with his and squeezed it reassuringly before they wandered out to investigate (well Hiccup hopped, not bothered to put her leg back on). Turning the light switch on, he found two cats canoodling on his couch. One was midnight black with large green eyes and a cute stubby tail, the other with blue grey fur and yellow eyes, a canary feather stuck in her fur. They must've been scaring the neighbour's canary before they came back to cuddle.

Chuckling he turned to her, gesturing to their cats. "See? It's fine it was just the two of them coming back to… hold each other with their non-existent arms."

"You can't even say it when it's about our cats…" she mumbled.

Ash frowned and gently picked her up taking her to the bedroom, hearing the cats light footsteps behind them. He lifted the comforter for her and watched her crawl beneath it, joining once she was comfortable. The weight of cats jumping up to sleep at the foot of the bed, made him smile slightly as Hiccup snuggled into his chest. He threw his arm over her waist and pressed his lips to her forehead, hearing her hum happily.

"Can I turn the lamp off?"

Hiccup nodded into his neck and he reached behind him to find the cord and the switch somewhere along the side of his bed. His fingers found it and he flicked it off, the two of them delved into darkness.

As he got comfortable and closed his eyes, he felt her curl into him more.

"I hate you."

"And why's that?" Ash chuckled.

Sheepishly she murmured, "I made a bet with Ruff that you would sleep with your shirt off. She won."

"I can take it off now if you-"

"NO!" a fist hit against his arm clumsily, "K-keep your sh-shirt on."

He threaded his hands through her short tresses with a smile. So easily embarrassed.

"I thought that you like my abs."

A punch against his shirt clad chest. "S-shut up already!"

"I didn't hear a 'no', sweetheart…"  
"ASH!"

He laughed and told her that he'd stop, hearing her mumble another, "I hate you," Ash murmured back the words that he knew she meant.

"I love you."

 **This took me forever to write! It took four days and it's not even 2,500 words! So frustrated. But I'm really happy with this, so I hope you like it! The next chappie is going to be Ash and Hiccup have an argument and he has to figure out how to make her calm down. It'll probably be really short... but I'll try and make it really good! Enjoy!**

 **-Blue**


	2. Chapter 2: Making up to an Angry Girl

**Chapter Two: Making up to an Angry Girl**

Ash smiled as he walked over to the table which held his five closest friends. A spare seat was next to Hiccup and his lips tugged up higher as he settled down next to her.

"Hello."

"Hi," she pressed a quick kiss to his nose, not much of a PDA person. Especially in front of the gang; they already got teased mercilessly as it was.

Snotlout pretended to barf. "Eww! No kissing my cousin in my public!"

He'd earnt that nickname from 1) being a snot picker when he was five and 2) for being a lout; hence Snotlout. And the fact that part of it rhymed with his real name, Scott.

Ash shook his head and wrapped his arms around her, hearing her protest lightly, "Why not?"

"Because it's disturbing!"  
"No, Ruff and Fish full on making out in public is disturbing; at least we have morals."

Everyone's eyes fell to the other sheepish couple, the well-rounded blonde ruby red while his girlfriend grinned devilishly. Fish or (his real name) Freddie? Well his full nickname was Fishlegs because he was lacked sea legs and was like a fish out water half of the time. And Ruffnut (Rachel) was called that because well she was a rough nutty person. Same could be said for her twin (Tom), but he was a tough nut to crack when it came to getting through his thick head; Tuffnut. Hiccup got her nickname from having a vicious hiccup problem when she was younger, bursting into hiccups almost every time that she laughed. He could still clearly remember how adorable it was even admitting it to himself when he was only in kindergarten. No one had used her real name since she was five, not even her dad; she hated it _that_ much. Ash on the other hand didn't have a nickname, sometimes he'd get called Blondie, but even then that wasn't often.

Grinning, he grabbed Hiccup's hand and started playing with her nimble fingers. He drifted his eyes sidewards to seek her tell-tale blush, lips drifted into a slight smirk.

"Are we going to eat?" Tuff demanded, stomach growling loud enough for a few people to glance over with concern.

Feeling Hiccup stiffen in his arms and Ruff whistling distractedly, he knew something was up. With a little sigh from all the boys they stared at the female twin, completely aware that the auburn haired girl wasn't going to say a thing.

"Hiccup and I wanted to go shopping since we're here."

"How does that involve us?" Snotlout asked carefully.

She grinned. "We need our boyfriend's opinions of course."

Ruff and Snotlout leapt up immediately, heading towards the food court.

"OI! WHERE ARE YOU GOING?"

They laughed and the Jorgenson boy grinned. "Their _your_ girlfriends, we're not going to join! And Tuff needs to eat anyway!"

Ash glared at them as they walked off, knowing that Fish was doing the same. Hiccup mumbled a quiet apology and he smiled softly, pressing his lips to the top of her head.

"It's okay, Fish and I can go to the game shop later."

"I'll try to tone Ruff down," she said with a small grin.

He frowned. "What's so bad about Ruff?"

"She's an over-enthusiastic shopper."

And he understood to what extent within ten minutes.

They were collapsed on chairs just outside of the dressing rooms; Fish sporting five bags full of clothes Ash with only two boxes of half-price converse, his girlfriend slumped next to them on the floor. That twin was exhausting. She dragged them to every half decent clothes store, even making them try on a few things themselves and abusing poor Hiccup into trying on everything that she deemed suited her and was her size; lots of clothes fell into that category apparently. Only Ruff would present the clothes that she tried on, Fish's voice getting rough from how many times he'd given his opinion. Hiccup wouldn't step out much to the twin's annoyance; Ash practically wasn't needed for anything except for supporting his defenceless friend.

Ruff came hurrying back from scouring the shelves and dragged a surprised and tired girl off the floor, pushing her into a change room.

"Try this on! I think you'll like it!"

"You said that at least fifty different pieces of clothing ago," she moaned as she locked the door.

He felt some sympathy for her, a few Ruffnut induced bruises forming on her arms and he couldn't help but feel guilty.

"Loosen up, she's exhausted."

"And _I'm_ exhausted from trying to get her to buy something! She has two hundred bucks to spend and she's only spent it on converse so far!"

"Maybe she doesn't need new clothes," Ash suggested with a little yawn, "her clothes are fine as they are."

The blonde sighed. "But they're _only_ fine. Anyway you're only saying that because of that v neck sweater she has."

He grinned at the thought of his favourite piece of clothing.

"Partly."

He heard a gasp from inside the change room and frowned as he heard a series of hyperventilating sounds. What the heck was happening?

Getting worried, Ash called. "Are you okay in there, sweetheart?"

A deep calming breath, "I'm fine… I-I think I'm g-going to c-co-come out."

"Okay," a smile found its way onto his face.

When the door opened, he couldn't help but feel like he was meant to be drooling. The dress was black floral, with a flattering but modest slight scoop neckline and thick straps. It had fake buttons going down the body, said top of the dress clinging sweetly to her upper body. Hugging her waist perfectly, it fell into an almost knee-length skirt which complimented her legs; both flesh, bone and metal.

"It looks great!" Ruff exclaimed gleefully.

Fish nodded in approval, grinning at his friend's stunned state.

She was shyly waiting for Ash to say something, but he was too shell-shocked to say anything, her expression falling.

"You don't like it… I'll go get changed…"

Ash jumped up, grabbing her wrist and frowning. "I didn't say that I didn't like it."

"But you didn't say anything," Hiccup mumbled.

He sighed and turned to Fish giving him a pleading look.

The blonde nodded and grabbed his girlfriend's hand, dragging her away. "Let's have a look over here."

"But something cute was about to happen!"

Gently lifting up her chin so that she'd meet his eyes, he smiled softly. "I didn't say anything, because I was stunned okay? You look beautiful. You always do, but that dress looks beautiful on you and you look beautiful in that dress."

She blushed. "Really?"

"Stop asking stupid questions," he murmured, leaning down to press his lips against hers briefly.

"Let's go buy this dress then."

Hiccup slowly smiled and nodded, heading back into the changing room. He sat back on a seat, thinking about when he'd be able to convince her to wear the dress. Maybe on Friday when they were having a dinner at his place with his parents; they adored her. To them she was the best thing since sliced bread. And they also had a reason to tease their son mercifully, so why wouldn't they like her? Especially with that grin of hers; that warm, cheesy grin and sweetly humoured attitude. What's not to like?

She came out barely half a minute later, back in her black skinny jeans and her _Imagine Dragons_ t-shirt. Still stupidly beautiful. Grinning at him, she pressed her lips to his nose quickly with the dress slung over her arm.

"I'm going to go to the counter okay?"

"Okay."

He walked over to Fish who was waiting for his own girlfriend to finish browsing everything that wasn't completely hideous. "How'd it go?"

"Good."

"Smooth moves?"

Ash chuckled and nodded. "Smooth moves."

Bags were already forming under Fish's eyes and he couldn't help but feel a wave of pity strike him.

"You know it wouldn't hurt to tell her to tone it down a notch; she won't kill you."

"Yeah, but she's happy so I don't see why I should- oh shit."

He frowned at him. "What do you mean 'oh shit'?"

The blonde looked reluctant to answer. This wasn't good. "Well… um… look over there."

Following where his friend had nodded to, he felt his entire being freeze. His blood boiled at the sight. The guy at the counter was flirting with a blissfully naïve Hiccup who smiled and conversed back, -without a doubt- not understanding what was happening. He growled.

 _Mine._

Storming over he possessively wrapped his arm around her waist, smiling at her rather than looking at the tool who thought he could take what was his. She blushed, but grinned lightly all the same.

"Have you bought the dress yet, sweetheart?"

Hiccup nodded. "Yep."

"Let's leave then."

An adorable crease appeared between her eyebrows. "But I was just talking to Nathan."

Nathan. That was the tool's name.

"We should go meet up with-" he stopped himself from saying the nicknames; he didn't want the tool to judge two people that he didn't know, "Scott and Tom."

Her frown deepened. "They said to meet them in half an hour."

"Can we please just go?"

Hiccup looked into his eyes deeply and he saw the recognition. She knew something was definitely going on.

Nodding softly, she turned to smile at 'Nathan' who was annoyingly attractive now that he looked at him. Dark hair, hazel eyes, ate testosterone for breakfast. Great.

"Okay, I better go then."

The jerk had the nerve to smirk. "But you haven't given me your number yet."

That's when all of his self-control crashed into a brick wall and his arm curled more protectively around her. He tugged her in the direction of the door.

"We're going now."

She grabbed the bag and let him lead her until he stopped. "What is it this time?"

"Just go along without me, I need to talk to the guy," he said.

" _Ash_ …"

"Go, Hiccup," Fish and Ruff had walked over hand in hand, surprisingly with no more shopping bags than what they had.

Hiccup frowned deeper. "But-"

 _"_ _Go, Heidi."_

She froze and he regretted those words the moment they left his mouth. He shouldn't have said her real name. With the most hurt and torn look she'd ever given him, she stormed off, Ruff running after her.

"Do you want me to…" he shook his head at Fish.

"Go after them, I have something to deal with."

He nodded and ran off after them, struggling slightly with the excessive amount of bags that he was carrying and the shoe boxes that he had the heart to pick up for him.

Turning on his heel, he stormed over to the tool who had witnessed the whole ordeal.

"What the hell were you trying to pull?"

Nathan grinned at him. "I wasn't; I was just talking to a single girl."

"'Talked'? You were _flirting_ with her even after I made it obvious that I'm her boyfriend! You were stirring up trouble."

"Now why would I do that?"

"To add another girl to the market," Ash snarled.

Then that idiot smirked. "Yeah… but you've got to admit she's pretty hot."

"I know that dumb arse! Back the hell off! Right now because of you, I did the stupidest thing possible and now she's mad at me!"

He shrugged. "Not my fault that you're an overprotective boyfriend."

"Oh I'm sorry that she's been through hell and back and deserves the best she can get! I'm not the best, but I try which is a lot more than I can say for a bastard like you! And I swear if we ever come back and you flirt with her again, I'm giving you a busted face and getting you fired!"

"That's if you still have your girlfriend."

Ash scowled at him before storming out of the shop, running in the direction of the food court.

When he got there, breathing heavily there was no Hiccup in sight. "Shit!"

Fish gave him a sad look. "She left the second that she finished talking to Ruff. You messed up."

"I freaking know that!" he gripped at his hair angrily, "God, I'm an idiot!"

Snotlout spoke up as carefully as the guy could manage. "What did you do anyway?"

"I went all 'over-protective boyfriend' and when I was telling her to leave, so I could talk to the dipshit who was flirting with her, I went overboard and called her Heidi."

A round of winces went around the table and he sighed.

Ruff offered him a smile. "If you run now you might reach her before she gets home. And make sure to not call her Heidi again, you know how sensitive she's about that."

"I know, I experienced it first-hand five minutes ago," Ash said drily.

He started running out of the food court calling, "I'VE GOTTA GO, I'VE GOT A GIRLFRIEND TO MAKE IT UP TO!"

They bellowed out cheers behind him as he sprinted out of the shopping complex, heading towards her street.

When he saw her ponytail swishing as she angrily padded down the street, he sighed in relief, running another twenty metres to get to her. Her pace quickened. Ash groaned, his legs aching from his ankles to his thighs, but sped up in order not to be left behind.

"I-I- Jesus I can't breathe!"

Taking another minute of regaining his breath before he dared to speak again, he said, "I'm sorry."

She didn't respond at all. "I should've have gotten so possessive and I shouldn't have crossed the line by calling you by your first name. I'm so freaking sorry."

Hiccup didn't respond, so he placed his hand on her shoulder and she spun around. The only way that he could describe her expression at that moment was furious.

"You're always so possessive… you get jealous so easily… do you really not have any trust in me?" her voice was dark and her eyes pierced his, a sharp green.

"I trust _you_ ; I don't trust the tools that flirt with you. And you're a bit… naïve."

" _Naïve_? How the heck am I _naïve_?"

Ash winced; he shouldn't have brought that up. "You don't notice when people flirt with you."

"I notice when people flirt with me!"

"Oh? And when have you noticed?"

She scowled at him. "When the guy asked me for my number, when you flirt with me and um…"

"See? You find it hard to see these things."

Hiccup poked him hard in the chest. "And why are you such an expert then?"

He looked down at the ground, breathing in steadily before looking up again. "Because I spent four years hinting that I liked you and I liked you even before then; since I was five. You needed me to be blunt, that's why I was so straightforward when I first kissed you."

She looked at him, gaze softening before she turned away again, continuing to walk.

He grinned. He was getting through to her. Following after with a huge smile, he tapped her shoulder again.

"ASH! Go away!"

"Can't do that, sweetheart."

Wrapping his arm around her waist, he heard her protest, "What the hell are-"

He gently pressed his lips against her neck and she stopped walking, body stiffening. With a huge grin he saw her bring her hands to her face, knowing that she was blushing furiously.

"Feel better?" Ash asked softly.

"Shut up," he chuckled, "I hate you."

He grinned and turned her around, moving her hands to let him press a kiss to her nose, like she always did to him.

"Right back at you."

 **Enjoy the second chappie, because I won't be updating for a while... that's because I'll be doing NaNoWriMo, a writing challenge during only November every year. So yeah... I'll start writing again on December 1 an update by December 4 hopefully, so read or reread my other works and my friend ReadyForSunset's work to entertain you during my absence. So... don't hate me, I'm just going to be trying to do original work for a while again. I used to only do original work, but took a break to write fanfiction for self-esteem and self-satisfying purposes; I promise I won't give up on this though! This is only because of NaNoWriMo! Enjoy!**

 **-Blue**


	3. Chapter 3: When She Hates the Beach

**Chapter Three: When She Hates the Beach**

He ignored her glares as he placed the bags beside the banana lounge that he'd set up for her and the beach umbrella. Ash lazily picked her up and set her on the chair. "Stop pouting."

She hit his arm. "I told you that I didn't want to come."

"And I told you that I wouldn't go with your idiot cousin and Tuff when Fish isn't there if you didn't come too!"

"And I thought I made it clear that you could shove it up your-"

He placed a hand over her mouth. "Language, missy," he looked over to a family nearby with their children, "there's kids here you know."

With a little sigh, she tilted her straw fedora to cover her eyes and rolled away from him. Ash laughed softly and sat down on the edge of the chair, patting her leg. She hit it away and he sighed, falling backwards on top of her. Hiccup started swatting at him viciously and he fended her off, eventually grabbing her by the wrists. Looking at her, fedora no longer covering her eyes, he smiled and trapped her wrists in one hand, tugging on her left braid with the other.

 _"_ _Ash."_

"What?"

"Go and swim or whatever; I want to get this over and done with."

He smiled and kissed her forehead. "Okay."

Throwing his shirt over his head, he placed it into one of the bags, smiling at his girlfriend's watchful eyes.

"Done staring yet?"

"Nope."

With a little laugh, he stood up and took barely a few steps before he felt a hand on his arm. Looking back he found her holding up a bottle of sunscreen. "Forgetting something?"

He sat back down and heard her squirting some into her hands before he felt her hands on his back, the cool substance almost making him shiver. But he just sat and let her lather sunscreen onto his back, her carefully hands not missing a spot. It was quite enjoyable to be honest.

Her hands went over his shoulders -a spot her knew from experience that he always missed himself- and gently rubbed the sun lotion into his lightly tanned skin.

"You haven't done my lower back."

"You're doing that yourself," she patted his sunscreen lathered skin and he heard the rustle of her lying down.

He smirked. "Wouldn't be able to keep your hands off me if you did, aye?"

"So full of yourself," she muttered.

Smirk fading, he covered the rest of himself with sunscreen, struggling with his face. A little sigh sounded from Hiccup and she sat up again with a little roll of her eyes and gently spread the sunscreen evenly over his face and pushing his fringe back to rub some into his forehead.

"You're hopeless," she murmured, carefully squeezing more sunscreen into her hand and placing it on his neck, "you'd be burnt to a crisp if I wasn't here."

"Which is why it's good that you are," Ash told her softly, appreciating her gentle hands.

Hiccup pressed a quick kiss to his nose before she smiled. "Will I get to sleep this time?"

"Maybe; depends if I need any more assistance from my lovely girlfriend."

She grinned more widely and fell back into the chair. "Just go and socialise already."

"Fine by me."

He stood up and walked down the beach, the hot sand shuffling under his feet as he approached the water. Ash felt some stares, but ignored them, already used to this sort of attention.

When his toes touched the water he smiled at the coolness and started to wade into the sea until it reached his waist. Then something grabbed his foot and dragged him in. Surprised he looked at the face of whoever had dragged him down, the find Snotlout grinning like a maniac under water. He kicked him lightly before he resurfaced only to be jumped on by a nutty twin. A sound of surprise escaped him as he was tackled back underwater, pushing the idiot off of him and pushing himself above water again.

Snot and Tuff resurfaced and he hit them both on the head. "What the heck is wrong with you guys?"

"You took forever; we got bored."

Sighing, he knelt down in the water, so it brushed his shoulders. "Has anyone ever told you how dumb you are Tuff?"

"Yes on numerous occasions."

Ash and Snot stared at him strangely. "I know big words!"

"Still weird…" Snot muttered, "Anyhow… what took you so long?"

"Hiccup didn't want me to get burnt, so she made me put sunscreen on."

They exchanged looks, before they smirked. His blood ran cold.

"So that's what took you so long…"

"No wonder…" Snot had a perverted grin on his face.

His ran a hand over his burning face. "It's not like that you pervs; she just helped me with my back-"

"Ooh!" they shrilled and he grimaced.

"Sounds spicy doesn't it Tuff?"

"Oh my god," he rubbed between his eyebrows.

"Yes indeed my friend!"

"I'm leaving," he started wading away, his idiotic friends calling out absurd things that made his face burn more.

"Ash-" Snotlout stopped and he turned to find that they were staring at a couple of girls who were splashing each other nearby.

With a little sigh, he went back to them and grabbed their arms dragging them towards them.

 _"_ _What are you doing?!"_ Tuff hissed.

 _"_ _I'm being your wingman and helping you get girls; now shut up!"_

When they got closer the two girls smiled at them, but Ash could already feel that their eyes were on him. This was either going to go really well or really badly.

"Hey, my friends here were wondering what your names are."

"Well I'm Julie and this is Lila," the tallest of the two said, eyeing him carefully.

Admittedly they were both beautiful. Not like Hiccup, but beautiful either way.

Certainly not his type either.

"I'm Scott," Snotlout grinned widely and offered Lila- the shorter one- his hand. She shook it, but her eyes were still drifting over to Ash.

"I'm Tom," Tuff's grin was obnoxious and stupid, but Julie was polite enough to shake his hand anyway.

"And you're name, hun?"

He felt his body stiffen slightly at the impromptu nickname. Only Hiccup got to do that.

"Ash."

"What a," she paused and stared him up and down, " _nice_ name."

Ash took a small step back and gestured in the smallest of motions for his friends –who were glaring at him- to converse. They attempted to talk to the girls, but all they seemed to want to do was ask Ash about himself. It was frustrating.

He almost groaned, but grabbed his friends by their upper arms and offered Julia and Lila a small smile.

"Could you give us a moment?"

They nodded and he dragged them a dozen or so metres away. "This isn't working at all…"

"Says you! They're both tripping all over you!" Snotlout hissed, glancing their way for a moment.

"Like you were Channing Tatum!"

Tuffnut earnt a look for that, one of which made them question his taste in movies, but Ash bit back anyway.

"Like I want them to! I have Hiccup!" he hissed back.

They looked like they were about to say something else, but then they stopped and nodded. Anyone with eyes knew how much Ash loved Hiccup. Even someone without eyes could tell just from the way that they talk to each other. It was unquestionable.

Then he saw Tuff's eyes widen as did Snot's when he was nudged, both looking at something behind him. He frowned and turned, eyes widening at the sight.

It was Hiccup. Angrily and clumsily wading into the water towards the girls, her normal prosthetic swapped for a water proof one. And she was wearing a bikini.

It was modest of course (Hiccup wasn't one for flaunting), but still suited her to a t with the red rose pattern on black. And her short braids sat cutely on her shoulders; her fedora no longer perched on her pretty little head. He was trying not to self-combust.

And then he knew what was happening from that frown on her face and the sharp scowl that it was part of. His little Hiccup was jealous. A little smile made its way onto his face as he crossed his arms and watched.

"Excuse me," her voice was oddly calm, "but why were you bothering Ash?"

"Bothering?" Julie's laugh was far too cold for that of such a seemingly cheery person, "And who are you to say that we were 'bothering' him? Little sister maybe? Friend-zoned girl? Oh! He's patient!"

That made him snap. His patient? He saw how they glanced down at her prosthetic with such demean that it made him want to strangle something. Preferably their necks.

Even Tuff and Snot were grinding their teeth together.

Without another thought, he strode back over and wrapped her arms securely around her waist. They put on fake smiles, but he kept his face cold and distant.

"No she is not my… _patient_ ," he spat, "this is my girlfriend."

Julie and Lila's eyes widened, faces pink. "We didn't mean it offens-"

"You did!" Snotlout stood to Hiccup's other side. "That's my cousin there that you're insulting you little-"

Hiccup gently touched her cousin's arm and Ash couldn't help but admire her calmness. "It's okay."

"It's not…" Ash said softly.

She offered him a smile. "Worse has happened-"

"WHAT?!" all three of the boys yelled, earning a few worried looks from other people swimming about.

"How many times has this happened?!" Snotlout hissed before Ash could beat him to it.

Her hesitance made them all scowl and he decided it was best to pick her up and start wading back to the beach. Their friends followed and the girls called after them, asking if they still wanted to go for ice cream.

"We don't even consider going anywhere with girls who insult our friends like that! Got it?" Tuff said harshly and they nodded.

As they wandered back to the beach, Hiccup started to fidget in his arms, Tuff and Snot offered to go get ice cream.

"Sure."

"Flavours?" Tuff pretended to hold a notepad and pencil, Snotlout miming a moustache for him.

He chuckled. "Chocolate chip and strawberry."

"Okay! See you in fifteen!"

"See ya!"

Humming, he continued walking to where their stuff was.

"Put me down, Ash!"

He shook his head. "Nope! Anyway, I know for a fact that you haven't put on any sunscreen!"

She froze and he gazed down at her to find her cheeks pink. "Ash…"

"Come on, you helped me!"

When he set her down on the edge, she hit his arm. "No!"

"You can't do your back," he said bluntly, "and your back always hurts the most when you're burnt, I thought a smarty pants like you would know that."

She sighed. _"Fine."_

Ash felt himself grinning triumphantly as he took the sunscreen out and sat behind Hiccup, squirting some sunscreen into his hand. He placed his hand on her back and started spreading it, massaging the lotion onto her skin.

"You know… you used to love the beach. You never told me why you don't anymore…"

"Well," he spread some sunscreen around the edges of the thick band that held the bikini together, careful to not miss a spot, "for one I can't swim like I used to; it's different now."

He shook his head. "That's not the only reason."

"How do you know that it's not the only reason?"

"Because I can tell okay? We've been dating for seven months now? I've gotten pretty good at reading you."

She sighed and turned to him, making him pause in his ministrations. Cheeks a sweet pink –the sort that he wanted to kiss-, Hiccup took a deep breathe before she looked up at him.

"Because I don't like sitting back and watching girls obsess over you and your stupid abs!"

Ash's lips quirked up and he wrapped an arm around her waist tugging her closer. "Stupid?"

"That's all you get out of that?" she muttered.

"Nope," he pulled her close enough that there were only a few centimetres between their lips, "I specifically heard that you don't like sharing and that you get as jealous as I do."

Hiccup laughed, her laugh wafting over his lips due to their closeness. "No one gets as jealous as you do, Ash."

He tugged her slightly closer. "Are you one hundred percent sure, sweetheart?"

"Maybe not…" she murmured.

Moving in those last few centimetres, she pressed her lips against his and he smiled into the kiss. This was the sort of kiss that he waited on sometimes. Like when she was angry or frustrated she'd kiss him like this. Firm and the slightest bit forceful. And he lived for them. As much as he did for the other sorts that she gave him. Like the lazy butterfly kisses that she gave him when she was sleepy. Or those quick goodbye pecks. Even the ones that she gave when she missed him to bits.

He loved all of them.

They broke away for air and he chuckled slightly. "Not as jealous as me, huh?"

"Shut up," she breathed out, pressing another quick kiss to his lips.

Suddenly Hiccup buried her face into his chest and he frowned at her. "What's wrong?"

"Did anyone see that?"

He sighed. "You need to get used to PDA, Hiccup."

"I am! Just not the kissing sort…"

Ash pressed a kiss to her forehead and she curled into him. "You know Ash… you're sort of a dork."

"I'm your dork though."

"Good," she leant up slightly to press a kiss to his jaw, only for him -with all his cheek- to tilt his head down to meet her lips.

"ASH!" Hiccup pushed herself out of his arms and punched his chest.

He grabbed her hand and held it to where she had punched hm. "I'm sorry, I couldn't help it."

 _"_ _You could help it."_

"Probably."

She scowled and tried to tug her hand out of his grasp.

He leant closer to her again, keeping a firm grip on her hand. "You know… you hit me a lot, but you never kiss it better."

"Why would I kiss it better?"

"Because it hurts!" he said softly, fiddling with the fingers that he had in his possession.

"B-but I p-punch you in t-the chest!"

Ash smirked. "As long as I'm not a girl I don't see the problem."

Her face reddened even more. "I'm not kissing your chest!"

"It's not that ba-"

She yanked her hand out of his grasp and pushed him away.

"I was joking you know," he murmured, gently resting his hand on her face.

"I figured… doesn't make it any easier though."

He frowned as she looked up and managed a small smile. She was always surprising him.

With a slight mischievous quirk of her lips she turned back around, so her back was facing him. "Are you going to finish or…?

Ash nodded before almost hitting himself and saying, "Yeah…"

"You nodded didn't you?"

"No…"

She laughed softly, her shoulders shaking gently. He sighed and gently grabbed her shoulders. "Stay still."

"Okay."

Sunscreen now on his hand he started at her neck, over her dorsum to the band that went around her back. His brow furrowed in a way that he knew made him look like he was doing the hardest thing in his life. Rethinking it, it probably was the hardest thing he'd ever done in his life. When he stopped, she turned to look at him.

"You didn't do my lower back," she teased softly.

"Dangerous territory," he muttered.

Hiccup broke into her sweet laughter and took the bottle of sunscreen from beside him. He busied himself with his phone as she covered herself in sunscreen; it was safest not to look.

"Did I miss anywhere?" she asked, standing up and checking herself.

"Back of thighs?"

"Yep."

"Behind knees?"

"Yep."

"Stomach?"

"Yep."

"Cleavage?"

"Ye- Ash!"

He chuckled. "Lower back?"

She glared at him, but nodded, sitting back down. "You're all good then, sweetheart."

Hiccup frowned to herself and looked like she got lost in thought. He cocked an eyebrow and nudged her with his knee.

"What're you thinking about?"

"When you first starting calling me 'sweetheart'… when was it again?"

Ash frowned for a second before an easy smile made its way onto his face. "It was about a month or two before I first kissed you."

"Oh yeah! And everyone used to tease us about it, because you'd always joke about it and let it slip all the time!"

"They gave us so much shit for it."

She nodded in agreement.

Gaze travelling, she was staring at his hair. Self-consciously he ran a hand through his hair and Hiccup's cheeks went the lightest shade of pink. She stood up and moved to sit behind him on the banana lounge. He turned to find her grabbing a towel from one of the bags and she started ruffling his hair with it.

"Your hair's still wet," she murmured.

He closed his eyes and let her dry off his hair, the towel massaging his scalp sweetly. She was carefully and attentive with every slight ruffle of the towel. When she was content, she ran her hands through his hair to fix it.

"Done."

Turning, Ash smiled at her. "My turn."

She frowned, lifting a hand to her hair. "What's wrong with it?"

"Nothing," he placed his hands on her shoulders and turned her in her spot, "I just like your hair."

"You do have a hair fetish…" she admitted.

"Oi! Like you don't!"

Hiccup laughed as he took the hairbands out of her hair and undid her braids. He ran his hands through the braid induced waves and tugging at them and twirling them around his finger.

Giggling the entire time, she seemed to be trying to a keep her laughter to a minimum. But Ash couldn't stand the thought of her refraining from laughing and started tickling the back of her neck. Shrieking, she fell of the banana lounge and onto the sand. He peered over the edge to see her glaring up at him.

"You're mean."

"I'm not… I just couldn't stand you containing your beautiful laughter in that pretty little mouth of yours."

She shook her head. "Your sweet talk is getting worse."

"Damn; I'm losing my touch."

"Poor little thing," Hiccup said drily as she stood up and brushed the sand off her skin, before sitting on the lounge again.

He pouted and she pushed his face in the other direction. "You're such a five year old."

"Wouldn't that make you a paedophile?"

"… I take that back."

Laughing, Ash wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her towards him, so her back was against his chest. She made noises of protest and tried to squirm out of his hold, but he tightened his hold on her.

"I'm not letting you go."

"I figured," he could practically hear her rolling her eyes.

With a slight grin, he grabbed her hand and entwined their fingers. They fit perfectly.

"You know… I love how our hands fit together."

"Hmm?" she hummed in interest.

"Like a puzzle piece. And your hands are all warm and petite… it's just nice you know?"

She turned her head so that he could see her smile. "Yeah… I do know."

Suddenly the sound of something like elephants thundering towards them made them lift their heads. The ground was practically quaking.

"We're back!" Snotlout yelled, running with Tuff, holding an ice cream in each hand.

He smiled at them as they halted in front of them breathing heavily. "Took you long enough."

"It was a long line…"

"And there were pretty girls everywhere," Hiccup said in a gruffer voice, trying to mimic Tuff.

Ash snickered as their faces grew slightly pink.

"Do you want your ice creams or not?"

"Yes we want them!" Ash almost shouted. He needed his chocolate chip ice cream.

His girlfriend patted his arm and lifted her hand. "Can we have them before he starts rampaging?"

"Sure," Tuff passed her the chocolate chip and the strawberry ice cream.

He almost snatched it out of her hand and immediately started scoffing it down.

"Geez… you have issues man."

When Hiccup nodded in agreement he poked her in irritation. She jumped slightly and turned to glare at him as he put on an innocent face as he ate his ice cream.

"If you get it in my hair…" she said warningly, starting to eat her own.

"I'd hit myself before that happens."

The boys all finished their ice creams within five minutes, Hiccup barely halfway through hers.

"If you don't finish it, one of us will."

She glared them down and they backed away, Tuff and Snotlout submissively sitting down in the sand. Grinning triumphantly, she settled against Ash more comfortably, slouching lazily.

"Very lady-like."

She chuckled and straightened up slightly, still lying against his chest comfortably (not that she could move; he still had his arm firmly around her waist). Once she'd finished, she licked the rest off of her fingers and sighed in content.

An idea occurred to him and he mouthed it to Tuff and Snotlout who grinned devilish. They stood up and stretched, giving each other sidewards smirks.

"You know," Snotlout said, "I reckon that it would be a nice time for a dip wouldn't you agree, Tuff?"

"Yes I do, Snot. Do you agree Ash?"

He grinned. "I couldn't agree more."

Ash grabbed her and shot up. She shrieked from his shoulder and beat at his back. People were watching; older and middle-aged couples watching or glancing over with familiar mirth, children's eyes wide, the emos and grumps ignoring them with a bitter air. His smile widened and he ran into the water as she kept hitting him, telling him to put her down.

Now waist deep in water he respected her wish and threw her into the water like a rag doll. She squealed before going under and he patiently waited for her to resurface. When he'd waited for more than five seconds he started to worry and looked to where she had been before.

"Hic- AGH!"

He was tackled into the water by his pissed off girlfriend who kept hitting him. Pushing himself above water in order to breathe, she was on her knees with the water skimming just below his shoulders, arms crossed as she glared at him.

"I deserved that."

"Damn straight," she muttered.

Hiccup's hair sat oddly on her head in its soaked state, so he reached forward and ran his fingers through it in order to fix the strangely sitting hair. She froze and slapped his hand away.

"You don't get that privilege."

"It's a privilege?" he asked slowly.

She glared at him and he backed up slightly. "I'm sorry okay? It just seemed like I good idea at the time…"

"You're not sorry."

"Stop reading into me," he muttered.

Suddenly she smiled softly and leapt forward wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling his mouth to hers. It was quick, but when she buried her face into his neck muttering, "I hate you," he laughed and nodded wrapping his arms around her with her wet hair tickling his jaw sweetly

"You need to start saying what you mean, sweetheart."

"Oh I meant it, don't doubt me."

And he laughed, as she started to tickle his neck with her nose. She was a cheeky one that, Hiccup of his.

 **A/N I've finally updated! And I wrote this in two days! Between watching anime and the trouble of picking up something that you haven't touched for a month I've updated! I hope you like this! I'm not sure what I'll do for the next one or if I'll do a short oneshot of the dinner with Ash's parents, but all I can say is that I going to update before the new year! So that gives me a good two weeks! Hang in there guys!**

 **-Blue**


	4. Not an Update I have some bad news

**I'm sorry.**

 **I really am, but I'm not doing another chapter of I Hate You in the near future.**

 **I'm hoping that I'll do a last chapter at one point to finish it off, because now that I look at it it'd work pretty well as a four chapter story, but that would be in June at the** ** _earliest_** **probably later, but I really hope to do it before the end of 2016.**

 **OTHER STORY NEWS:**

 **I HAVE A NEW FIC! It'll be for the Miraculous Ladybug Fandom (an awesome show that you should check out if you love clueless superhero dorks and don't mind watching subs on YouTube). It's Adrienette (AdrienxMarinette) and will be a cute fluffy post-reveal fic, so if you're into Miraculous Ladybug check it out once I post it!** **P.S Knowing me I might not post it for another week, because I'm horribly lazy like that and have this unfortunate thing in my life known as High School** **So please don't kill me, but that's all for now!** **-Blue** **(Apologies that this isn't a real update! *sheepish look*I can empathize for you guys; I know the feeling.)**


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